i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
