I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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