it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
