Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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