too bad you live with your parents still
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
