I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
