i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
