can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
