K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just made my gag reflex go away.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
