im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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