hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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