Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
