Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
