It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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