At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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