she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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