someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
