"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We are two peas in an std pod
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
