I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Randomize
