and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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