i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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