we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
