Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
