I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
