just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
