There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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