Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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