are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
