Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
