their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I licked your asshole in confidence.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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