If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
