My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
