dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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