sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Randomize
