I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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