My room smells like vodka and shame
I hate all girls vehemently.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize