No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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