as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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