Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
