I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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