He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
