It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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