I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
