She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
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