Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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