How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
the day after is always just damage control
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
