go do what you do best...puke behind churches
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
