Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
