so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
