So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
