What did we do last night that was yellow?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
