he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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