I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
