Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
