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While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
