Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
