Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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