guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
