32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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