You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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