I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
