ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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