Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
