Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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