Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
