help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Randomize
