Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
